While we are crazy busy finalizing plans and downsizing, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once everything is done here, we will be out there exploring and spending more time together doing the things that we want. Today's post is a little more personal, giving you a bit more insight into some of the crazy and emotional thoughts running through my head recently.
Are we doing the right thing? Well, YES! Of course we think we are. A couple of years ago, Brett's sister came to visit and told us she was thinking of quitting her job to go back to school. Her decision would bring her and her fiance to the opposite side of the country and be a huge life change. We cheered her on, encouraged her and told her that sometimes you just need to let go and trust it will all work out. Now we find ourselves taking our own advice. While we have done a lot to prepare for this new chapter in our lives, there is still so much left to do and there are a ton of unknowns in the months ahead. Despite the stresses, I keep reminding myself the most important thing is that we will all be together, and we have friends and family who support us in what we are doing.
Our very first visit to Vancouver in March 2012 to find a home
I often remind myself that only four short years ago we were just visiting British Columbia for the first time. Back then I was thrilled that our little family would have the opportunity to live in and explore one of Canada's most beautiful provinces. At the same time, in the back of my mind I was terrified of this big change. We were leaving behind our families and friends to move to the opposite side of the country, and we had no idea if we'd like it. When we arrived, we did our best to embrace it. We met so many wonderful people, went on fantastic adventures and made the most of our time out here, rain or shine. We learned that change is hard and scary, but so worth it. We also learned that going into something with a positive attitude and outlook can drastically effect the outcome of any situation. So this is exactly how we will move forward on our new adventures.
Will we miss our life here? OF COURSE! I bring myself to the brink of tears almost daily thinking about the friends we are leaving behind and all of the things we still want to do. We didn't build our life here overnight. It took a long time to make this place feel like home, and we are surrounded by some seriously awesome friends that have become our family. I will miss them dearly, but they are also the best reasons for us to come back and visit as often as possible.
July 2012 - our first trip to Vancouver Island with our friends who we now consider family
Each night as I snuggle the kids to sleep, I look around whichever bedroom I am in and think of all of the wonderful family moments we have shared here and my heart aches a little. I know at the end of the day a home is strictly bricks and mortar, and it's the people and memories we make that truly matter. Saying good-bye is never easy, and leaving this home where Halle grew into a little woman and where Nolan was born, will not be easy.
The hardest part by far is knowing that Halle struggles with it. We're doing our best to keep communication open with her, while not burdening her with unnecessary details or worry. We stay positive when we discuss it with her or in front of her, and she's enjoyed things like picking out our new truck and trailer. But still, she'll frequently approach us out of the blue, with a tinge of anxiety in her voice and announce, "I need Mama/Dada snuggles" and we know that she's feeling nervous or anxious about what is to come.
We talk about how we will miss our friends and our home, but we will visit and we will make new friends. She knows that we'll have a new house with lots of space to run and play and she'll get to help us decorate her new bedroom... she may also get a cat. I am most reassured when I think about how much she loves travelling, nature and adventure, and how she will flourish with all of these new experiences.
As much as we are about to set out on an adventure we have always dreamed of, I am still feeling small bits of worry along the way. It won't always be easy, but I know deep down it will most definitely be worth it.